Krish:
Namaste 🙏
Upon hearing the word Namaste, we all know that it is a greeting. I heard the word Namaste in a different context, on table etiquette. Read on.
Upon joining Tata steel, our super boss invited us to the United Club Jamshedpur for a welcome party. Great spread of food, and good variety of drinks. During the party, he realized that we all need a coaching on how to conduct ourselves at the table;😂 else it would be embarrassing in the future as we grow up. He understood that we were not accustomed to that kind of setting.
The next month, we had a session of Etiquette training. It was a residential course of 3 days at Dimna guest house at the banks of picturesque Dimna lake nestled in the hills.
The trainer was an elderly gentleman schooled in English manners. So we learnt the proper way. Thank you sir.
The lunch table was set with plates, cutlery, wine glasses all in geometric precision. 🍴🍷
We sat down, nothing had been served yet, and the class began.
We were taught things that were interesting. A bigger wine glass 🍷 for the red wine, and a smaller one for the white🍸. The champagne flute 🥂 for champagne. If one doesn't want the white wine, how to say no, just by not turning up the white wine glass. What wine pairs with what type of food.
How to taste a wine😋.
Amazing session it was.
Then about the cutlery. Different sizes of spoons, forks, knives. Where to start from. He said, start with the pair of cutlery, one each from left and right. Start from the outside and work towards the inside, one pair for each dish.
To make us remember that it was outside to inside he said, "how does one do Namaste 🙏 with the hands. The palms are brought together from the outside to inside. Remember Namaste 🙏 and you'll always remember it as outside to inside"
It went on for some more time showing us the fine art of dining and table manners. Using knives, forks, spoons, not scraping the plates. How not to butcher the food, but to slice the food gently with the knife.
We ate less, but learnt more.
The session was repeated a couple of meal times, and we became adept at table manners.
The manners ingrained thus has helped us.
Even today, a senior management member of Tata steel would graciously pour tea to his visitor, enquire if he wants it black or with milk and how many cubes of sugar would the visitor take, and serve it such with his own hands. Grace and manners. ☕
Then there was a session on buffet and cocktail dinner.
We were shown videos about heaping up food on the plate from the buffet like an Eiffel tower and told not to do this. 😃
Don't treat the buffet like it is the last supper😆
And cocktail dinner is about social drinking. Sip and talk, not guzzle up and stagger around.
During our sessions at Dimna guest house, we also leant the techniques of making cocktails 🍹 like Screwdriver, bloody Mary. Finer points like salting the rim, frosting the glasses, garnishing a drink with a lemon wedge or cherry on a toothpick.
From being kick per buck boys, we became suave sipping social drinkers. 👌👍
Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman!
Sri Krishnan:
Another great story ! Thoroughly enjoyed. We had a German boss in between and he had organised a party. Next day he said he would organise a training on table etiquette!! But somehow that training did not happen !
I had an “ interesting “ situation:
That was with the German CEO. He used to meet people individually over dinner and assess potential for next levels. We met at Taj MG Road Blore. He ordered a beer and I asked for fresh juice. The waiter said all the juices they had were canned and he can get fresh coconut water.
I ordered that happily ! I was expecting the coconut water to come in a glass but the waiter brought a full tender coconut with a straw to the table. My German CEO lifter the glass and said cheers with a twinkle - I lifted the full coconut and said cheers clinging !
I got my promotion to next level . Later on I learnt from HR , other than the leadership abilities that he assessed , it seems he liked that I did not get flustered with that situation.
Surya:
My first day of consulting in 1992 my senior partner took me to a Japanese restaurant. I ordered vegetable tempura.
He said, no - in consulting we learn to eat sushi I did not know what it was and had never eaten fish in my life before let alone raw fish!
It was a 50-50 shot that I might puke in a restaurant on my first day on the job in front of the managing partner.
I put the tuna 🍣 in my mouth .... and I loved it. Have not looked back since!
I’ve personally enjoyed using the different cutlery as a way of enjoying the cuisine and by way of accessing a geography or culture.
- In Ethiopian restaurant eat with hands
- In Chinese or Korean restaurants use chopsticks
- In western restaurants use knife and fork (especially the meats!)
- For east European goulashes those big ladle like soup spoons...
- For shrimp those teeny tiny forks
- For some hordervers - toothpicks!
I have not tried the bib and giant lobster crackers - I find that whole thing too intimidating!
Susee:
Eating sushi with a ‘generous’ dose of Wasabi sauce is an experience one must have in a lifetime! And friends should be there to capture that cherished moment in camera!
A long time ago, there used to be an Indian restaurant in Piscataway, NJ. In their buffet, they used to charge for wastage and so, people were responsible enough to take only what they needed. Simple rule and effective!
Siva:
When I had my dinner with my chinese suppliers in early 90s, I always finish what I served on my plate and make sure that I finish what I ordered ..
But my chinese suppliers always order fresh dish after finish our dinner and leave the dish untouched on table and pay for it.. I always insist them why they do like this... they told if we eat everything on plate served, other people will think that we are starving and that we finished everything... others will look down.... that’s why they order extra foods and leave as it is though it is going wasted...
This is chinese etiquette which I can not accept with them every time ☺️
Now many changes in their approach on the importance of food... infact once Chinese president called for every Chinese cooperation on not to waste food in their Chinese New Year dinners... now they also started learning importance on food...
Venkat:
That was nice series triggered by Krish’s write up on eating etiquettes. Enjoyed every write up, Surya (I remembered your first encounter with Sushi that you have previously written, indeed that changed history), Siva (oh, these Chinese, but I will add something to that effect) and Sriki (confident and categorical that won the day)!! 👍🏽👍🏽
Let me write something that would be 180 degree. 🙃🙃
But before that....Of course the French connoisseurs who I had been doing business for more than two decades in Dubai imparted informally the same education.
And let me specifically add the learning on beverages. Krish had mentioned the right glasses appropriately for beverages but something I was enlightened with is.... 😇😇 it is perfectly alright to mix drinks... you can start with a rum cocktail or champagne on the stand up huddle before the dinner and once on sit-down six-course dinner you change wines depending on entree, main course (depending on red or white meat), dessert, Cheese (mostly with Porte) and finally a cognac or Armagnac as after dinner digestif. And changing drinks isn’t very bad as long as one handled it in right quantum and right duration. 😇😇
And that is no different from what most of you wrote.
What is 180 degrees?
Arab hospitality!!
This may vary from region to region but what I am writing is specific to gulf Arabs, the richest... yet steeped in Bedouin traditions.
Is there no etiquettes? There is. You don’t stand and eat! That is the only one!!
How men eat is like this... you sit around in a big circle on the ground. Mostly squat!! And the huge serving plates are in the middle. You move from one plate to another. Not just you... all of us. A biriyani plate for instance can be as large as four feet in diameter. Eight of us squat around and eat with bare hands from one plate!!! And we grab as much in hand as possible. The meet in the middle you actually tear with bare hands. And use both hands as well!! And stuff your mouth. That is the etiquette‼️
If you don’t, you are not being friendly!! Mind you this is not a lowly Bedouin style but Shaikh style. And prior to eating the main course of biriyani or any other meat dish in this fashion, you maybe served some Kebabs or other starter on an individual plate or after dinner you may be served dessert in an individual plate and if you ate it all, they will put more on your plate. (just like what Siva said about Chinese... same for a dessert like Umm-Ali.
If you are done, it is proper to leave some on your individual plate. I think this tradition is same in India too when if a plate is empty the guest is served more.
I love Arabs for this.
No stress. Just eat!!
Geetha:
Shiva here also there are few people who think like Chinese n waste food.
On a different note the habit of leaving food when you finish your meal I ve seen my aunt n one of my grandfather who always used to eat on banana leaf. After finished eating without wasting anything on the leaf they will serve a minimum from the vessel n close the leaf.Watching this I asked them one day why are they doing it so.Both of them came up with same answer "when you throw the leaf some animal or a bird would come in search of food.We should not disappoint them when they come expecting for food to eat‼️"
Also, Arab hospitality sitting n Eating is similar to ours. But eating from a common plate that too in bare hand.
When the guest is done with one item before they could ask we must serve them!!!!
I think it should be common in every culture.
Geetha Kannan:
I am remained of a story that Kanchi Periyavar once asked a group of devotees who wanted to feed visitors to the matt to serve for five individuals in each leaf.
The five are:
- Persons who eat from the leaf in pandhi
- Beggers and gypsies who eat from the leaf when thrown into dustbin
- Dogs which eat after beggers are finished
- Crows which eat when the dogs are finished
- Ants which devour anything the birds have missed or have been spilled
Bharani:
Great inputs on eating etiquette. The host and guest should do justice to the food. Food should never be wasted
Gautham:
A bit tangent..nevertheless.....why should someone follow an etiquette in eating?... Eating is a natural act and a need... Do you need to have a rule for it? If You are happy eating using your hands...so be it.... Probably the western dishes are more tuned to eat with a knife and fork....so that cant be an universal norm.. but mimicking this to eat our own parupu sadham is foolish....eating is as akin to breathing....no rules... And table or rather eating etiquette is a self imposed hypocracy...probably by the western influences... The bottom line is...however you eat, you don't make a mess of it! Table etiquette for me sounds colonial..
And if table etiquette pushes me to have something I don't like I think it's a compromise...for the sake of a straight jacketed norm or to be with the then prevailing trend..this is an intrusion in to your freedom of choice and free will...
Krish:
Different foods require different eating styles. So do different cultures have different eating styles and drinking styles. It's good to be aquainted with these. It comes in handy especially at these days when the "world is flat" and we mix with different cultures for business.
The Indian style of eating, especially sitting on the floor and eating has its positives. The stomach gets pressed a little and the total intake reduces. This is good, as per yoga practices.
Senthil:
Yes - digestion is easy
One more:
We have to use our hands while eating
1.According to PH there r many minor and mini chakras .So the food gets enerzised and goes inside
2. According to temperature and texture of food(stimulus and response) the digestive glands secretes lots of enzymes which absorbs energy from food and digestion process is easy.
Mini and minor chakras in finger and palm.
Swarna Thara:
Etiquette in eating - nice thread of experiences and opinions.